what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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