YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize