She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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