Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
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