Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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