My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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