i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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