Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(763): View more from Minnesota

I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me

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(763): I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me http://tfl.nu/kago

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name

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(610): It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name http://tfl.nu/7lfm

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(404): View more from Georgia

I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."

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(404): I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard." http://tfl.nu/a58r

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(973): View more from New Jersey

doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...

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(973): doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea... http://tfl.nu/umc9

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(954): View more from Florida

so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine

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(954): so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine http://tfl.nu/9kja

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(206): View more from Washington

He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.

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(206): He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go. http://tfl.nu/rhri

Replies (13) Good night (2014) Bad night (3503) Order T-Shirt
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(301): View more from Maryland

they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.

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(301): they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with. http://tfl.nu/84m6

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried

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(405): He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried http://tfl.nu/s324

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve

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(412): Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve http://tfl.nu/y29u

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(904): View more from Florida

you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.

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(904): you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck. http://tfl.nu/a9rr

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(860): View more from Connecticut

you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice

(1-860): View more from Connecticut

peace be with you.

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(860): you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice (1-860): peace be with you. http://tfl.nu/ffop

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(314): View more from Missouri

It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke

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(314): It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke http://tfl.nu/h2tw

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(901): View more from Tennessee

I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.

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(901): I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort. http://tfl.nu/rrlp

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(989): View more from Michigan

I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.

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(989): I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus. http://tfl.nu/jo2t

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(406): View more from Montana

Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad

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(406): Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad http://tfl.nu/ib2e

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