It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
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He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
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I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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