I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize