So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
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you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
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I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He? As in you personified your dick?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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