after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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