I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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