I'm so fucking centered right now
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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