just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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