i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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