Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
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