i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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