So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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