He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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