Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
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couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
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School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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