I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Never joke about your clitoris.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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