I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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