I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
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