i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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