chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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