Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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