chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize