It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize