I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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