I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize