In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
zippers are such a cool invention
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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