hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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