I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
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Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
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It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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