New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
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BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize