You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize