i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize