suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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