Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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