I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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