Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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