she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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