Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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