Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
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I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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