i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
