Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
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the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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