Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
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When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
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Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
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