Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize