roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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