Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize