she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
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