living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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